


In the Light of the Bay Window

by Neutral03



Category: No Fandom, Orginal
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Depressive, Sad, angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:34:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22720327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neutral03/pseuds/Neutral03
Summary: I now spend most of my nights these days staring out the bay window longingly. My only companions are the stars and the darkness itself. Thus, leaving myself alone to my thoughts, and no other human interaction. Thus, how a person could ever be able to achieve this level of thinking in our time is way beyond me.  I’ve been told that these actions could only lead me down a path of loneliness and despair. Though, I have gotten to the point that I no longer listen to the jumble of mumbled things that spill from their mouths faster than the speed of light. I just listen to my own mind now, which is way harder than one might think that it is.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	In the Light of the Bay Window

I now spend most of my nights these days staring out the bay window longingly. My only companions are the stars and the darkness itself. Thus, leaving myself alone to my thoughts, and no other human interaction. Thus, how a person could ever be able to achieve this level of thinking in our time is way beyond me. I’ve been told that these actions could only lead me down a path of loneliness and despair. Though, I have gotten to the point that I no longer listen to the jumble of mumbled things that spill from their mouths faster than the speed of light. I just listen to my own mind now, which is way harder than one might think that it is. 

Spending the majority of your time just sitting and staring out of the window pondering your existence can get a little more than just your standard philosophical mumbo jumbo. You come to realize exactly how boring and unfulfilling your life is. They always say that we are all put on this Earth for something important, and that we all have a part to play in our society. I call that a load of bull. In all of the years that I have been alive on this Earth, my life has amounted to absolutely nothing. I have done nothing that I have found of any importance, or vital to sustaining our existence on this planet. What’s the point of all of this if you’re just going to end up in a box in the ground anyway. I see no point in doing anything worthwhile when nothing will happen because of it. 

Now, before you go on your long rant about how I am completely wrong about all of it, listen to this. I have gone, more like been forced to attend sessions with every psychiatrist, phycologists, and counselors that my family could find. I spent a good chunk of time talking in circles to them about nothing and everything at the same time. It was useless and a waste of my time and my parents’ money. I do in fact feel bad about that, since they tried so hard to be better for them. And even though it has gotten to the point that I don’t care about anything anymore. Everything has lost its meaning, and value to me. I feel nothing, and I am nothing. No shrink or drug can fix that. Though sometimes I wish that it could, then I wouldn’t be in the predicament that I am now. 

A few months ago, was when everything in my life really went downhill. It all started when I had stayed home from school one day by myself. I had told my parents that I was sick and they let me stay home. And to be honest I was sick, I had woken up that morning with a monsterous migraine and ended up throwing up at 4am. So they really didn’t question it when I asked, especially since I never asked to stay home from school. For the most part things were going pretty well on my end. I spent most of my day laying around in bed feeling like absolute crap. I had barely moved all day and I had astounding plans to keep it that way. Everything was going perfectly fine up until I couldn’t take it anymore and gave up to go and get pain medication for my migraine. Though part of the reason that it probably hurt so much was that I had hardly any food or water all day. So I got up and went into my parent’s bathroom, and I dug around in the medicine cabinet for painkillers. The last thing that I remember after that is feeling really funny. It was like everything was out of whack and the whole room had started spinning. And everything went black after that. 

The next thing that I know is I’m coming to in a room full of beeping noises. Well, it was really just one very annoying beeping sound that is going off so much that at first I thought that it was more than one. When I was finally able to open my eyes and look around to check out my surroundings all that I could see was white. From the color alone I could tell right off the back that I was in some kind of hospital room. At first I was very confused as to why I was here. The last thing that I could remember was being at home sick, the rest of it was a complete blur. I tried moving around a little bit to see what was happening. But all of the IVs and crap that they had me hooked up to limited my movements. I sighed to myself and just let myself be content to be trapped in this tupid hospital bed until somebody bothered to come in and check on me. I figured that I would have to wait here for a while. 

As it turns out I didn’t really have to wait that long. A nurse, who by the way was wearing horrific bright yellow scrubs came into the room with a stupid bright smile on her face. She reminded me of all of those happy, and peppy popular girls in school who always seem ecstatic about everything even if it’s about the fact that their dogs got hit by a car. She came in and checked out all my vitals on the machines that they had me hooked up too. She was smiling, humming and talking to me the whole time. It was very annoying and she was starting to get on my nerves just a little bit. When it got to the point that I thought that I was going to strangle her, she was done. 

I sighed in relief when she was finally done with all of those invasive tests. Though my good mood was killed not that long after when she informed me that she would be right back with the doctor who was assigned to my case.Great, now I get to listen to some whack job tell me about how I’ve completely lost my mind, and how I am in a real need of help. I just wanted to be left alone and go on about my life and how I want to do it. Is that too much to ask? Sometimes I really begin to think that it is. And I hate that about my life. I know that I don’t have the best mental health and I am kind of prone to just losing myself to the madness every once in a while but I’m fine. 

Moving on to make a long story short, the doctor came in and basically told me that he was going to ship me off to the looney bin. To say that I was very displeased was a huge understatement. I went full on out ballistic on him. He was taking away my freedom and my life from me. It wasn’t fair, it really wasn’t and it sucked. All that I wanted was to just live my life the way that I wanted to. 

And that is how I came to spend my days sitting, staring out of the bay window in my room in the psych ward of a hospital whose name I never bothered to remember. Sure, it can be very mind numbing at times, but everything can get to that point after some time. Who am I kidding I just want out of this prison, and to be free. But I guess I’m stuck here until I get released or die. Whichever comes first. I really hope that it’s my second option, really, I hope that’s it. 

THE END


End file.
